Brent had wanted a fourth for awhile, but I admittedly denied him...so he stopped asking.
During our anniversary last July I told Brent I was actually considering this and by August we decided it was something we were doing. After a lot of praying and soul searching and after spending a week with my brother and sisters, I had decided that I really would love to have another baby. I always wanted 5 kids, but decided to settle with three.
I decided a fourth would be great because after that time with my siblings I really knew that my siblings were my best friends. I really want to give that to my children. A network of people who love and care for them. I know big families are not as common now-a-days, probably because of the expense, but I can't help wanting to do this. I also know the Lord would not put it so heavy on my mind and heart if it was not the right thing for us.
So we started planning. August had taken us awhile to actually conceive. I had never had problems getting pregnant until August. I heard that the third child can do that to you though...turn all the "norms" upside down. So with August we had ended up finally tracking my ovulation and trying to hit my peak time. Finally we were successful and the rest is history.
So this time around we decided to just start with ovulation testers. We figured it would take us a few months to conceive, so we decided there was no harm in starting right away to just really start gauging the timeline.
We took our first ovulation test August 24th. I was not ovulating.
I took one again the following day (per the instructions) and this time it indicated that ovulation was going to happen sometime in the next 24-48 hours. So we had our window of time!
Roughly two weeks later Brent came home with a box of pregnancy tests. The first test I took on September 4th and it was negative. I told Brent that we should start marking the calendar for the next ovulation cycle...
On the 6th we decided to take another test...It was weird sitting and watching the little hour glass flashing knowing that this determines so much. Fully expecting it to be negative again I waited for Brent to read the results. As soon as I saw his face I knew and decided to look for myself.
I was a little weary about believing this. So of course on the 12th I took another one that I purchased from the dollar tree.
Still positive...so we called to schedule an appointment. Unlike any of our previous pregnancies they had us wait until we were 8 weeks along to come in. So we waited until October 5th. To confirm pregnancy they did a vaginal ultrasound...
Again, unlike any of our previous pregnancies all of our ultrasound experiences this time were not very good. NONE of our pictures were very clear. I was a little disappointed by this.
This was another ultrasound we had done on November 2nd.
And this was another ultrasound we had done December 30th.
I was not happy that right away I was bloating and my hips were spreading...I mean with each pregnancy I had gained anywhere from 60-80lbs :(
I was not excited to be getting back on that roller coaster.
I had to invest in stretchy leggings and other maternity pants right away...
Some belly shots over the pregnancy.
I was still in shock from actually having us be successful our first try...mainly because I had a lot going on.
I started my practicum in an elementary school in August, and so for the first few months I was experiencing morning sickness I was also at my practicum placement with a room full of kindergartners.
In addition, this put my due date in May, which was in the middle of my last term of school for my undergrad. Still, I knew that it was all going to be just fine.
Somehow I survived all of this and our boys were great and became wonderful helpers during the whole pregnancy.
Then there was the whole mess with trying to decide where to have the baby and how to get the birth I wanted. That blog about water birth is here.
We managed to drive to Portland and see my wonderful midwife for my prenatal appointments.
In order to ensure we would be in town for the birth we had decided to head down to Portland May 13th. However, my midwife, Tracy was not really comfortable with that. She wanted us there at least a week early. I had been measuring big (as usual) this whole time. So we decided to come on May 11th instead. Mitchel and Brayden would stay home with grandma and not miss any school. August we would take out of school and have with us.
Our plans changed a little more because Brent had booked the Survivor Mud Run for Mitchel and himself, which was on May 7th. So we decided instead of going to Portland for the race, going home for three days and turning around to come straight back...we would just stay there after the race.
A few days before we were heading to Portland August's teacher tells me that with 10 days of absence a child is automatically withdrawn from school. She says I should talk to the office and see if I should un-enroll him before we leave?!
I was shocked that this was a policy. I talked to the office and they said that it should be fine. Still, what a crazy policy...especially when the days out of school are planned. This made me feel like as soon as we hit Portland I wanted to be active and try to get this baby moving on out...
So we arrived in Portland May 5th.
We had my appointment on May 6th. I was feeling good and having random sets of contractions per the norm for this time of pregnancy. He had a strong heart beat and everything was going smoothly. He was a wiggle worm and was moving around very frequently. It felt like somersaults, but I'm sure it was just him moving from one side to the other.
We went to the Mud Run on the 7th. I was able to have Jen "baby" sit me so that I could go and try to take pictures of Brent. My mom watched August. It was fairly warm out, but this run was way more low key than the other runs we had done. The crowds were MUCH smaller and the track was different. We walked over to the last muddy obstacle in order to take pictures. I borrowed Brea's hat with a large rim. I also had plenty of water.
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| My muddy hubby |
We made another appointment on May 11th.
This time when we went I got my tummy painted!
Tracy was trying to paint him where he was, but he kept moving...
She was pretty sure he was facing upwards when she was done.
I spent most of the days anxiously waiting for the first real sign of labor. My sisters had me walking a ton, bouncing on an exercise ball, getting foot massages, and warm baths.
We went out and ate very spicy food and I marched up and down stairs.
My contractions would get strong-ish, meaning my stomach would get incredibly tight, but there was not really any cramping or pain.
I got very little sleep. I was so worried about sleeping through my labor. I had to get up and urinate almost every two hours. It was exhausting.
I felt that we were just running non-stop so I finally called it and decided to take a couple days and veg out. Brent was not comfortable leaving my side...which I didn't mind at all. He and I got a huge bulk of redbox movies and kicked our feet up. Brent felt that I was getting very close...
So he drug August and I around with him everywhere...
Like when he went to donate blood!
August and I sat out in the car outside the donation trailer...
We went in for my next appointment on May 16th! We decided to be "checked" because I had been having some fairly regular contractions and cramping and I wanted to know if I was actually making any progress. We found that I was dilated to a 2 and maybe 50% effaced.
I usually do not opt to be "checked" because it really doesn't mean anything. I have been in labor barely dilated and still have my babies within 45 mins.
Hearing that I was dilated a little made me feel good, but also kind of nervous...like when did that happen?
In the meantime my Dad made his way up from California. He was excited to be able to be there for the baby. He was there when August was born, but he was watching Mitch and Bray. This time he was wanting to be there in the room with us.
Everyone was excited to come to the birth because they do not last very long...
The next day was the actual due date, May 17th.
Brent and my sisters had me tracking my contraction on about 3 different contraction apps on my phone. They had me so paranoid that I would not feel labor and end up having him in the car so I was tracking every little twinge my body felt.
The morning of May 17th I woke up around 4:30 am and started keeping track of slightly uncomfortable cramping back pains. I had been waking up a lot more frequently to use the bathroom and I realized that it was due to contractions squeezing my bladder. Around 5am I woke up Brent to help me keep track. I was too tired and they were about 4 mins apart. By 5:30 we woke up Carleen. Since she is a labor and delivery nurse we thought we would get her opinion. I really didn't feel like it was labor, but I didn't want to deliver in the car. Carleen said we should call Tracy and just hang out at the birth center. She said to not be worried if it wasn't really labor because women do that all the time. We called Tracy around 6:30 or so and decided to meet at the birthing center around 7:30.
We got ready and drove to the birthing center. Again, I was not really feeling in labor, but my "contractions" were pretty consistent.
Carleen was kind of irritated because I really couldn't feel the contractions. She would see my stomach rising and say "are you having a contraction right now?" I would feel around my tummy with my hands and realize Yup! I am...
So we got to the center and got settled in our room. The same room that August was born in. However, this experience would prove to be much different than August's birth.
First difference was there were two apprentice midwives. With August's birth we only had Tracy, he was born too quickly for any other attendants.
Second, it was during the day with appointments scheduled. When we had August the place was closed and quiet.
Third, I'm pretty sure Emmett was face up! So his delivery proved to take a little longer.
As we settled in the room I was feeling a little silly like I was not really in labor. But, it was nice being there just in case.
Carleen, Elysisa, Jen, Tyler, August, my Dad, and Brent were all there. Plus Tracy and our two apprentice midwives. So excluding me there were 10 people in the room most of the time!
I decided to try out some of the things I never have before because of how quickly my labors move. I got to sit on the exercise ball, and Brent and I did some swaying. It was funny feeling like I was a normal person laboring for once. Even if the contractions didn't really hurt yet, it was great practice to work on my breathing and picturing my baby moving down and out.
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| We covered the ball with a sheet |
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| Elysia timing a contraction |
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| My back was starting to really hurt... |
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| The outfit Elysia bought for Emmett to wear home |
My contractions were killing my back. I finally decided around 10:30 or so to get in the tub. Before I got in the tub we decided to take some pictures with the outfit we were "planning" on taking him home in...
When I got in the water it was like everything stopped!
I expected to feel relieved and relaxed when I got in the tub, which a tiny bit of me did. However, I was more panicked and put off by the fact this labor was going so different than my other three.
I was getting kind of frustrated. I had no idea what was going on. I mean usually my contractions start and then it ends up being one HUGE constant contraction that ends with the baby coming out.
This time my contractions were coming and going.
The day before we had discussed the things that could cause my labor to slow down and these things were: was having a "bigger" baby. Since August was 9lbs 7 oz we decided that probably would not be an issue for me.
Second, if he was not in a GOOD position.
So the whole time I was contracting I was thinking something was wrong. My contractions were not horribly painful for the most part. My back pain WAS very bad though. So I decided he was not how he should be. This made me realize I had to be a lot more active for this labor to get going.
It was all kinds of surreal. It felt that time going by so quickly but I remember hearing people making comments about the time and I was thinking "WHAT?!" I couldn't believe how slow it actually was. Again my births are usually so quick, I was in uncharted waters.
We had taken "bets" the day before about when he would be born. Everyone guessed a few days out, but Tyler had said the 17th at 1pm, I had said the 17th at 10am.
When I heard the remark that Tyler may be right I was really frustrated. I remember thinking "It's already 1pm?" But then they assured me it was only noon. Noon. I had already been in the water an hour and a half. I could not believe that.
It was around noon when I started feeling very ready to be done. My contractions were getting a little stronger but I still didn't feel like they were doing anything. I started crying. Well at least tears came streaming out of my eyes.
I laid my head back with my eyes closed and tried to not mess up my breathing. This is when I realized how quiet the room was.
Jen and Carleen were great and were coaching me the whole time. They were saying encouraging things like I was doing great and it was almost over. My Dad would chime in every now and then as well. When I began to cry Carleen said "that is great you are releasing hormones that are good for you" (or something along those lines). I felt so defeated though. I was exhausted and after each contraction in that last little stent, I felt like I was passing out.
To help keep my focus I would look at Brent. He was such a silent presence in the room, but I could feel his hand in mine and I knew he was there and that was comforting and made me feel like I could do this.
Unlike with August I was very quiet.
I had time that I never had before to really think about what my body was doing and what my sweet baby was doing.
It was very peaceful.
Painful...
but peaceful.
I was trying to be in different positions and sway my pelvic bone. I wanted to remember everything I knew about labor, but all I could think was that the more I move the more I help him.
I tried being on my hands and knees while Carleen or Tracy would put pressure on my back. It actually felt worse, so I decided to turn back around.
I kept thinking that maybe I should get out of the tub and walk around, but then the contraction hit and I was feeling pretty good in the water.
We had to keep adding warm water, and that helped too. My stomach was so much rounder and right in front that it had been in any of my previous pregnancies. It was so weird watching my contractions start and trying to calmly breath through them.
August and Tyler had fallen asleep at some point. So they got a little nap in.
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| August telling me stories |
Brent said afterwards he had a hard time telling if I was in active labor because one of the signs is that the woman gets quiet and can't talk through contractions. Brent said, "and you were just talking the whole time" Hahaha...
I could tell it was getting closer due to the pressure I was feeling after each contraction.
I was waiting to feel that uncontrollable urge to push...
I began to give in to those feelings of surrender. Almost like the "wall" they say you hit in a marathon, I was there. I felt that I could not imagine going any further. How can I push this baby out when I was basically passing out?
How can all these people be encouraging when there is something obviously wrong?
I kept saying things like "What the heck is happening?" and everyone would laugh, but I was serious.
I could not believe I had been at this for almost two hours.
I said a silent prayer for strength and desire (at that point). My body was doing it's thing and my mind was taking refuge in the pleas for help.
The quietness of the room was a different pressure on me. I was feeling frustrated at myself for taking this long, even though I knew it was something I could not control. Everyone trying to be quiet so that I can focus on my breathing and picturing things opening up. I was frustrated that no one was explaining to me why. Crying all over again. Suddenly Carleen whispered to Elysia "see it's getting closer there is his head".
All at once I was focused.
Hearing her talk about his head made me realize it was actually happening.
The next few contractions I could feel an odd sensation from the sides and top of my stomach migrating to the center and then down. In all the frantic and exhausted thoughts that were running through my head I realized this was it. This was the build up for the pushing.
Even these feelings were new to me. Pushing was just something that happened in the other labors. I was so much more aware this time. Instead of labor feeling like a roller coaster ride you accidentally got on and had to ride it out...it's like this time I stood in line and bought the ticket.
My back felt like someone was underneath me sticking a hot poker right above my tailbone, but I knew it didn't matter and I had to just breathe and follow my body's lead. I tried to lift my tailbone and also bear down. My midwife had stepped out of the room at some point, and one of the assistant midwives started getting closer to the tub when Carleen started narrating the baby's head movement.
Two times I felt the build up to push and during that contraction I was mentally prepared, but then it was like I could feel my body sucking the head back up and I said "NO, no, no, no".
Third time is a charm and this time I could feel that this was an actual pushing urge, mainly because I had ZERO control over my body. I finally moaned "yes!".
It's funny how surprised I was that his body just popped right out. I heard the midwife say "go get Tracy the head is out", but by the time she was done with that sentence there was Emmett. (12:24pm)
Brent said it was interesting because the placenta sac started coming out first, like blowing a bubble...and then Emmett's head filled it. He said when Emmett popped out the piece of placenta ripped in a circle and it was left floating around the tub.
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| It took her a couple times before she actually got a hold of him |
More than ever before I was exhausted. I reached for Emmett and tried so hard to not drop him. I slowly felt my energy coming back...but at first I was just wanting to cry and sleep.
Emmett was covered in his thick vernix. As I went to hold him my fingers smushed it around.
He gave a sweet cry right away but then quieted down and settled right away.
Because Emmett's head had cut a hole in the placenta blood started pouring out of me.
This is when Elysia got a little scared. She thought something was wrong with me...
August and Elysia had been right next to Carleen, but August ran to Brent to meet his baby brother.
The tub got pretty gross, pretty quick. And it seemed to not be nearly as warm as it had been moments before. I tried to nurse Emmett, but he was not very interested. So I handed him off to Daddy and I went to rinse off in the shower.
They put the placenta in a ziplock bag that Brent could carry around. So Brent went and sat down to get a good look at his boy...
I was told to act "normal" and go lay down instead of standing and walking all over the place, so I went and followed Tracy's instructions.
They made Brent and I some fruit smoothies to help us gain some energy. August was helping me drink mine. He was so attentive and gentle.
After I settled into the bed I tried to nurse again. He actually latched on right away and was a great eater.
August was not that impressed with the ins and outs of breastfeeding. He still doesn't understand why boys can't have milk.
Once Emmett was done nursing we decided it was time to cut the cord.
The plan was for August to cut the cord, but when it came time to do it he protested. He said, "I'm not getting near that tentacle thing". He referred to the umbilical cord as a tentacle.
So we asked Elysia if she would like to cut the cord.
She was elated. It was hard to tell because she was so quiet and acting so serious...but I knew she was extremely excited on the inside.
She did a great job!
She is actually the age Mitchel was when he cut August's cord.
After his cord was cut and some cord-free snuggles we did the weighing and measuring...
As Tracy carried Emmett over to the scale she asked if anyone had any guesses. Most everyone were guessing that he would be around 7 something or 8 something pounds, but Tracy said no he feels at least 10lbs.
Then she placed him on the scale and said, "Oh it looks like we were all wrong". Then she asked "how much did August weigh?"
And Brent and I said 9lbs 7oz, and she remarked that was funny because Emmett weighs 9lbs 7ozs!
We also found out that his head was 14'' and he was 20 3/4 '' long. (August was bigger though 14.5'' head and 22.5'' long)
We noted that Emmett's face was very swollen and bruised. Tracy mentioned what I had been suspecting all along, that he was facing the "wrong" way and had to really work to get through the birth canal.
I think, in retrospect, this is why he was not opening his eyes as much. He looked like he was really trying to open his eyes, but his brow and cheeks were so big it was hard for him to keep them open.
After Emmett was totally looked at it was time for me to be checked.
I nursed again and sometime in the midst of all of this we ordered some lunch before everyone took off. Brent and I decided to order from Cafe Allegro in Tigard.
Daddy had some great time with Emmett, my family snapped a few more pictures and then they all left to go eat lunch! My Dad had offered to have August over night. He wanted to help anyway he could. He and August were gong to go see the Jungle Book the next day.
There was no surprise that I had tore again. Even if this labor was a little longer than my others he still came out in one push, so I still had the effects of that.
I elected to again not get suturing. It was around this time that we were informed that our insurance only covered 24 hours of after care.
This was quite a bummer. Last time we got a full two days and it was amazing. We were really planning on those days before our 3 hour drive home. Tracy told Brent it is something that most insurance companies are doing to cut costs and there are a lot of places fighting it. They feel that 24 hours even with a normal vaginal birth is not quite enough time to be discharged.
When I had Mitch almost 16 years ago (crazy to say) you had to have a bowel movement before they would discharge you. Wow how times have changed.
Luckily we have tons of family in the area and Carleen had already been hosting us for the last week and a half. We asked her if she minded another day of us?!
She did not mind at all. Abram and Ely were at an end of the year camping trip with their school and she worked. So, we would be there with my Dad and August.
It was just slightly stressful to have to make plans day of. I wish we would have known that ahead of time.
We had taken a nap and got up in time to order dinner. Everyone came back that night to get some more snuggles in. It was such a great experience. I loved all my postpartum nurses and how chill everything is at the birthing center versus the hospital.
Plus they have so much stuff on hand: snacks, drinks, different teas, smoothies, and emergen-C. We are pretty spoiled there. Plus they sit and have conversations with us.
I was wired like I had drank about a gallon of coffee and had a hard time sleeping.
Company was a nice distraction, but poor Brent was EXHAUSTED.
First selfie with the baby.
Elysia was super happy to get to hold Emmett some more. She was leaving early in the morning for camping...
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| Our dinner from Claim Jumpers |
That night Emmett had about 5-6 really poopy diapers. The lovely dark tar kind.
I was only able to produce colostrum at this point. With Mitch and Bray my milk dropped before they were born, but with August and Emmett I was playing the waiting game.
Emmett had such a good latch my nipples were already getting really sore. I should have done more to prepare them for this...
We did the vitamin K shot and his heel poke. He had lost almost 11oz (probablly in poo) by the time we left. They said it's normal for bigger babies to loose more weight that first day or so.
He was perfect and we were feeling tired and like parents of a newborn.
We got him all snug in his carseat and left a little before noon that next day.
We got to Carleen's before August and my Dad had even left for their movie, so August got to hold his brother some more and ask a billion questions. Then they left and we got some rest in.
Shortly after our mini nap our friend Rhiannon showed up with sweet Laurel (not pictured) from Longview, Washington. Aunty Rhi held Emmett and got her baby fix. She brought us a basket full of goodies and sandwiches for the road home. AMAZING.
After Rhiannon, Uncle Max and Grandma Annette showed up.
We had another great visit and were gearing up for the drive home.
The car was pretty packed down.
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| Second selfie with baby Emmett |
Emmett was a champion in the car. He slept the whole way home(3hrs). I started getting engorged on the way home. Finally my milk was coming. I had thought I was in the clear since it hadn't dropped yet, so I was not wearing pads or anything. I was soaked by the time we pulled up in our drive.
Our first few days home were great. Brent went and bought me cream to help with my nursing.
That first week was SOO painful. Slowly it got better and I am fine now. Other than that Emmett proved to be an easy baby. Not very fussy at all. Ate good, slept well.
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| Brent's favorite shirt for Emmett |
The boys all want to hold him all the time. Mitch is an Emmett whisperer and can quiet him down when I can't. It has come in handy many times so far this first month.
Needless to say Emmett does not really get to "sit" or "lay" down anywhere because someone always wants to hold him. And you know what?
I am fine with that.
With Mitch turning sixteen next month I realize how quickly it goes by and that there is no harm in holding them all the time!
Brent put him in this papoose thing with no arms. He actually didn't mind it at all. I did!
It made me feel uncomfortable. So Emmett's time in it was short lived.
Each of his eyes had the blood circles from the broken blood vessels. These pictures you can start to really see it, because his swelling was going down.
Car seat ride to go pick up August from school.
Emmett meets papaw.
The first week was tough. The boys still had school and baseball. Brent was able to be home the first two weeks, but I was the one who had to get up and nurse and change Emmett. So most of my life the first week I looked like this...
Brent loved it.
He said I was a sexy hot mess.
Not sure what he's seeing, but I'm glad he thinks new Mama looks good on me...especially since I told him I would consider a 5th...hahaha.
For now I just know that we are blessed and I am trying to enjoy every minute of it.
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