~ Mom ~

I seriously love this woman!

Not just because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, but for all the things she does 

and who she is as a person that leave me so inspired.

Now, she's not perfect. 

And I love that too!

She is real.

She says what she feels and is very authentic.

 Sometimes, especially growing up, I couldn't stand this quality.

 As I am growing older (and she has toned it down some) I appreciate it so much more.

I often put myself "out" for people.

 Push myself past what is comfortable and try and be there for my friends and family.

 She is the one who taught me it is okay to say "no". To put yourself first and really evaluate if you are putting more effort in than you should. 

It's always funny that we learn these lessons from people...

and in retrospect they do not necessarily do these things for themselves.

She taught me about faith.

How to be humble.

How to love unconditionally.

When she embraces people she does it wholeheartedly.

I remember when I was around 10 years old (younger than Mitch) we were walking home from the store and a man came up to us on the street with a bloody hand wrapped in a white tee-shirt

 (he looked like he was probably in a gang/and maybe had been in a knife fight?)

 I remember her putting her arm around him and guiding him down the street to a 7-11 (or something) for a pay phone and waiting with him until help arrived 

(back before cell phones that what people had to do). 

It saddens me to think that I (today) might cross the street if I see someone like that...

well, maybe if I had not been shown a greater lesson. 

Afterwards I remember talking to her about it and asking questions like "weren't you scared?" 

(I was obviously scared) 

I can recall she would look at me like I was crazy and gruffly reply,

 "yes, but what was I going to do? Not help him?"

I battle with these things constantly. 

When I see things that I know are not right. 

Do I speak up? 

Do I pretend that its not happening?

 Do I put my safety in-front of someone's needs?

The answers seem to get fuzzy sometimes due to circumstances.

 I believe I have a strong moral compass and feel an implied sense of responsibility to help others. 

 To be selfless as my mother has shown me numerous times.

I know that it was her influence, because my sisters are the (exact) same way. 

They try to fill any need they see people may have. 

I have been with Carleen twice now when she has jumped in and literally "saved" children.

(and now I must describe these situations)

One time Carleen and I took the kids out to Hagg Lake.

 I was pregnant with August at the time (huge!)

Our four children ranged from 9 down to 4. 

We brought life jackets for the kids however, Hagg Lake has life jackets there hanging on the "park info board" free of charge!

Anyways, we get down by the shoreline and I took my time building a little nest on the ground to plant myself (quite a production) while I was doing this a group of five little kids come running around the corner.  

Unsupervised, and I am guessing their ages ranged from 7 down to what looked like a 2 year old.

 I know! Crazy. We start looking around for their parents...nope! They were down here by themselves. Other people slowly showed up with their own children. While this group of little "unsupervised" kids began playing a game where they were pretending to drown. Carleen and I (being the over paranoid individuals that we are) tell these kids that really isn't a good game to play because someone may actually be in trouble and won't get help, because they were making it a game. 

And WHAT do you know...as we are sitting there one of the smaller girls (prob around 3) is walking along the shore and then poof gone. There had been a hole there just deep enough that she was submerged. There were little hands flailing around. Carleen and I couldn't believe what we were seeing and were also (for half a sec) questioning was she playing around. We decided she was NOT playing. Carleen popped up, ran over and JUMPED in (mind you there were fairly shallow spots she got a lot of little cuts and was bloody) she pulled the girl out and she was choking and spitting up water. By this time I was able to get my ginormous body up onto my two feet and get over there.

At this point Carleen is full of adrenaline and frustration and firmly tells one of the "older" girls to get whoever their guardian was. Slowly, moseying around the corner comes a man with a fishing pole in one hand and a beer in the other. Carleen explains to him what happened.

He proceeds to yell at the kids and then disappears around the corner. An unrelated bi-standard came up and thanked Carleen for her efforts (since the girls guardian did not). We left immediately. Frustrated and sad. 

And still another time Brent, Carleen and I were with all the kids walking along downtown Portland's waterfront. (A VERY busy place) A boy was running against the flow of pedestrians and cyclist. 

(say we were walking horizontally, and he is running in and out in vertical lines) 

A bike clips him in the head and blood starts squirting out. 

Again, Carleen rips Elysia's sweater off and runs over to immediately put pressure on this boys cut. 

(granted this time he probably would not have died, but it was still dramatic) 

While Brent and I stayed with the kids Carleen helped walk the boy over to the fire station 

(with his father that appeared a minute later wondering what happened). 

I was so proud of her. 

She could have been one of those other people that just walked on by, but she wasn't.

She could have been someone sitting on the shore, deciding that the little girl was still "playing" drowning, but she didn't. 

She got up and she acted.

I can totally see my mom in her. 

(although my mom would have had a little more to say to the parents of those kids...)

That is what I love about my mother.

That dive in and get your hands dirty with serving others.

It reminds me of what Ghandi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Mom works with individuals living with disabilities...and she thrives. 

She is so compassionate and genuine it is wonderful to see. When she talks about her students she gets so excited and can work herself to tears just describing some of their struggles and accomplishments.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. 

In fear that I may be taking these things for granted. I have a hard time talking to my mom. 

Jennifer, my older sister, is great at connecting with people and relating to them. She seamlessly befriends people and is great at providing others with some emotional support. Jen can give perspective with gentile criticism. She is very accepting and a great big picture thinker. 

She and my mom talk all the time.

I can be a little critical of my mother. 

I can expect that she takes things too personally, and I may even imply to her that she needs to "worry about herself more, and not others (me)"

So, I have taken the time lately to reflect on this aspect of our relationship.

 Although, my mother has experienced some negative back-lashing

 (which there always CAN be when you put yourself out there)

the positive aspects of her personality far out weight the negative. 

And being able to write it out a little and visually walk through it is helpful.

I know some people who do not have relationships with their parents. Or their parents are more authoritarian than authoritative. I have always KNOWN that no matter what I can count on my mom.

She will not judge me and she will always ALWAYS be there.

She may not necessarily pay super close attention to all the details of my life, but she has the cliff notes. She is my biggest cheerleader and a dispenser of wisdom.

She loves the beach and camping. 

She's taught me to find a way to do things, don't wait for someone to do them for you.

She is amazing with her grandkids...

I called her the baby-whisperer, because no matter what she can get ANY baby to sleep very quickly.

I love that people can be so dynamic.

Positive and negative, good and bad, understanding and short tempered...

It is exhausting listening to people who are perfect.  You feel me?

So many times I have listened to people and just thought to myself, "well yeah, my life would probably be less stressful too if those were my circumstances..."

Mom helps me celebrate the individuals around me and their experiences.

Watching her transform from my childhood mother to my adult confidant in life has been inspiring.

She's a little crazy, but she helps me see...don't judge, just love.

I love you mom!

Thanks for being you.

 (and now true to form, here are more photos)