Deciding on Water...

As we approached the halfway point of this pregnancy we were very anxious.

Most of this anxiety came from not really being happy with our birthing options in our little Podunk town. 

My first birthing experience was great, a hospital water birth. I had a wonderful midwife and felt very supported and heard in my birthing choices. Mitchel was two weeks late and they had me in for induction, which didn't work. When I came in for my second induction I checked in and got hooked up to the monitors and they told me I was already in labor, this was at 7:30am and he was born at 12:37pm (so just around 5 hours of labor). I chalked a lot of that up to the water and being so relaxed.

My second birthing experience was not as great. As my labor onset we called to tell the hospital we were coming and they diverted us, and then we got a call and were diverted once again. We ended up at a hospital (OHSU) we had never toured or registered at, not knowing where to go and this is a big place. In addition my labor was progressing very quickly and we were a little frantic. Now call me weird, but I chose midwives every time! So imagine my distress when two males enter the room. One Dr. and his student. That delivery seemed to be a blur of panic and pain. Again, from the time my labor started at home to the time Brayden was born it had been about 2 hours.

So, with our third bundle of joy we decided we were absolutely going to have the birth we wanted. We chose to have a water birth again. We chose on having it at the birth center versus our home due to it being a rental, and for the reprieve afterwards. It was a wonderful and amazing experience again. There is something about birthing with no interventions that is very empowering. Now, it's easy for me to say this because I have precipitous labors meaning my babies are born within three hours of the onset of labor. I have no choice but to have natural births. That being said, when I was in the hospital for mine or other births I have been present for, there is a sense that you need intervention. That your body is not going to do this on its own. 

Back to our current debacle, our town does not have labor and delivery at our tiny hospital. The closest hospital is about a 25min drive. We started seeing midwives at the hospital close to us, but it is one of those things where the hospital rotates them and at delivery it is whoever is on call that will be in there for delivery. I don't like this. I like to really know the person at the delivery. I feel it is an amazing and intimate thing. I feel that when I meet these people I am in a sense interviewing them to take part in this experience. Since I have had the experience with strangers versus someone we have a relationship with I know, for me, it makes a difference. So that was strike one!

Next, we toured and registered at the hospital. I asked several questions regarding birthing tubs and medication because I did not want to be "ripped" out of the tub if I started pushing, nor did I want any needles in me. I was informed that they would "assist" me out of the tub (aka pull me out) if I started pushing and I can refuse anything, but I have to do it when I get there. They generally take two blood samples, and run an IV as soon as you get there. The rooms were so cold and clinical. It just left me feeling very anxious. 

I tried to put my head in a spot where I could make peace with having a baby OUT of water and in a hospital, but I was really struggling. 

So, we went and toured one of the ONLY water birth clinics around which was in Bend, 45 mins away (on a good day). The clinic itself was nice, but the midwife herself did not sit well with Brent and I. She was very relaxed. A little too relaxed about the idea of us having the baby on the side of the road. She was kind of spacey and did not know the answers to a lot of our questions. So that was strike two!

Then, we interviewed the midwives here in town. It is a mother, daughter team. I loved them. They did not have a clinic so it would be an actual home birth. They were confident, informative and experienced. Right away I felt comfortable with the idea of them being our best option...but then we started talking logistics. I would have to be able to fill a birthing tub quickly, since my births can happen in an hour. We are on a well, with not the best water pressure. We would have to then boil water and fill the tub the rest of the way once we drained our hot water tank...Then we started talking about the what if's. I do tend to have slightly big babies. They said most women sign up for the life flight, because in emergencies they only recommend the Bend or Portland hospitals. I am trying to not expect that there will be any problems/complications, but it is wise to always plan for them. The idea of being helicoptered away while in labor or fetal distress made me crazy nervous too. So, reluctantly I decided the hospital birth would probably be the most responsible.

In the meantime Brent was trying to convince me to just deliver the baby at the water birth clinic that we used last time.  We have enough relatives to bunk with in May, that potentially I could head over and he would join me the week surrounding the due date, and we could have "our" ideal birth. I immediately struck this down thinking it was just too much coordinating and inconvenience on our relatives.

So, at my next prenatal visit at the hospital I was wrapping my head around this being my reality. The OB doctor we saw came in like a whirlwind (as they usually do) skipping the pleasantries and going straight to the monitors. She was insistent that Brent and I consider a 39 week induction so that we can choose the date of delivery and not need to be panicked. She had previously brought this up and I had expressed that I did NOT want to be induced. She ignored me and continued to ramble statistics about there being no difference between inductions of a "ripe" cervix and someone who has precipitous labors leading to cesarean. She continued to talk about the benefits of induction. I was so frustrated about all of these mindsets and the fact that for the whole 3 minutes she saw us it was her discussing induction. This was strike three!

We made appointments with OHSU and Andaluz water birth center that week. Each of these were water birth options in Portland. OHSU couldn't get us in for over a month, so we met with the midwife who delivered August. As soon as I walked in the door I felt at ease. She, like usual, had an entire hour dedicated to us. We were able to discuss all of our options and concerns. She is so realistic and caring we knew this was best for us. I love that they are willing to meet on off hours to accommodate my prenatal care. That if I do go into labor early she will come to me (even if she won't make it). I love that they are realistic in what a labor could be and what can possibly go wrong. There is a hospital right across the street! I felt so good during that meeting I decided it is worth all the schedule shuffling and compromise to have our birth there.

OHSU offers water birth options, but they also have a huge list of reasons why you will be denied your water birth if you come in presenting any of these...one is presumed large baby.

Again, I think I am more panicked about this pregnancy than any other. The hospital focus on all the things that can go wrong for a woman "my age" giving birth. Not even joking, my age is listed on my chart as a condition to my pregnancy. They remind me, at the hospital, that my chances of stillborn go from 6 in 1000 to 12 in 1000, simply due to my age. How comforting. 

Now that we have a plan I feel like I can finally breathe. 

I am still a little nervous about him coming earlier than our plan, but my history shows that (aside from Mitch) my babies come 3-4 days around their due date.

So I am trying to table all of my stress about the what ifs and simply enjoy this pregnancy...since I am pretty sure it WILL be the last one...I think.

Its funny even looking at the pictures of their delivery the feelings it evokes. 

I can feel the calm in the water birth deliveries, and the frantic-ness in Bray's delivery photos.

Mitchel, just born and placed in my arms.

Brayden, just born being handed to me. (Notice all the intervention)

They waste no time cutting Bray's cord!

August just born and handed to me.

Christmas Time 2015

Around Christmas time there is a slew of activities that we find ourselves wrapped up in.
Since I was finishing out my TERM and my INTERNSHIP I was pretty bogged down with school. Still, we were able to go to Mitchel's concert where he plays in the concert and jazz bands. Brayden was finishing out his basketball season, and August had a lot of fun school things too.


I love the chaos of the holidays.
NOT the shopping...but the endless strands of lights, snow on the ground, and anticipation from the kids.

One of the coolest activities was caroling with August. Each grade had taken time learning several songs and at different times throughout the day they went around the entire school caroling to each grade.  In Kindergarten we made these fun Rudolph hats to wear while caroling.
Brent was able to attend which is always a treat. We had a great time singing with all the kindergartners, and when we were finished we had milk and cookies in the gym.

This will be the third Christmas in our house, but each year we have spent it in Portland in a hotel. This year we decided come what may, we WILL be spending Christmas at our home!

We were so excited to be even considering actually being at home...
With each decoration and opening of the advent calendar windows we were anticipating being home.

Getting from Portland to home while appeasing all of our obligations required some fancy maneuvering...Brent and I were responsible for bringing his parents to town, so we weren't able to drive together like usual. I am trying to not get frustrated by this, but when juggling the kids and our plans it gets pretty hard. This is one of those moments where a lesson in selflessness and humility are learned.The roads were horrible as usual, and we had to drive two separate cars to town in order to celebrate with my family. They were trying to accommodate us wanting to be home Christmas morning, so they moved our family celebration up. But,  Brent had to leave me in Portland and go back to get his parents, his dad had made a doctor's appointment during the week of Christmas. Again I was fairly frustrated by this, but reminded myself it is important to do for others, even if it is not the cheapest or most convenient thing. I think I was mostly bummed because Brent had 11 days off of work and it would have been nice for him to be able to spend it with us...
Still, he finally made it back to Portland in time to celebrate with his family and then head back home.

We did a lot of the fun activities Portland has to offer, but I did not tote the camera around...I decided to live in the moment instead of document it visually. Being pregnant and maneuvering around jungle gyms isn't as easy as it was in my 20's!
It was fun spending time with my sisters and Dad.
The kids adore their cousins and always have a blast everywhere we went.

The day before we left for Portland Brent's dad played Santa at a local thrift store. We popped in to see him and get the boys pictures...
Papa is always happy to see his guys!

We have some great photos taken each year of the boys with Santa and I think it is special that the last several years Santa is their Papa. It will make the display all that more meaningful when they are adults.
--------In Portland--------
First up Christmas celebration was at my sister's house. We all decided we did NOT want another full turkey dinner, so we decided on a taco bar.
We exchanged gifts, played games, and enjoyed some tacos & burritos.

Brent and I made a special stop at El Tapatio in SE Portland to get the best salsa ever!

Jen got us all these crackers...it was nice having a sister who worked at the world market.

Jen got Brent and I tea cups...and each of the boys a special one.

A lot of the things we did I did not bring my camera with...well it was there, but I was just too involved to be taking pictures as I mentioned. I did pull it out when we went to Jay's house for the Christmas festivities. Jay's celebration was on Christmas Eve, so directly from here we were leaving to head over the mountain. It was snowing pretty heavy on the mountain so we were anxious to get going...

This year at Jay's it felt a lot like a Baertlein family Christmas since most of the other relatives did not show up...Even with the sparseness the boys had fun playing and wrestling.

August tries to get in on the action...I had to remove him.

The upside to letting your kids pretend to be photographers: they feel empowered and passionate about something.
The downside: your camera settings get a little jumbled and messed up.

Randomly placed picture...I found them like this one night during our vacation! Poor Bray...brother hugs can sometimes smother us.

 We left Jay's house and went to Jen's to get our sweet puppy/dog/beast Cosmo, then we headed home...but before Jen snapped a few photos of us.

Found pictures Bray took on the horrible camera phone.

We arrived home pretty late...
August and Brent went outside and spread the reindeer food all over the lawn. They also set out some cookies and milk for Santa.
We got the boys in bed and then started setting up for Christmas morning.
As the boys get older, especially the teenage years, it seems harder and harder to pull off a Christmas miracle. Each of our kids usually get one gift from Santa and two from us...plus stocking stuff. This year we had also taken the boys out to pick out something for each other. It was an exciting thing for me, because when I was a kid this is what we used to do and I can remember some of my favorite presents were the ones that my sisters had picked out for me. Brent really enjoyed this as well. The boys know each other so well that they really did a good job picking something that the other went ecstatic over.

*While Brent came home to get his parents and left me in Portland, he surprised me by painting our bedroom and getting it all ready for the baby. Instead of planning on the baby bunking with his bros, I'm being realistic and putting the crib in our room. Needless to say I was pretty excited to see how much thought and work he put into it.

We woke early Christmas morning...well the big kids woke us up! It was snowing and we have the white Christmas at home that we wanted.

We had the big boys go wake up August so that we could get started...

Daddy got all snuggled up while Bray started passing out the presents...

In their stockings Brent got them these skeleton face mask things...
Plus some battery operated toothbrushes. He wants to see how they do with those before he invests in the real thing for each of us.

The stockings are always one of my favorite parts.

The boys chose a giant remote control dinosaur for August

Pawpaw (Matt) each made us each necklaces with special pieces of stone/gems he picked out.

Grandpa Tony got Mitch a new baseball bat, gloves, and brought his old bat bag from the 70's. I love it. I remember when I was a kid and played in my Dad's bat bag, and now it's Mitchel's. So precious

Bray took this picture...not very flattering! Still, I made it in ONE of the pics from Christmas morning!

 Then we cleaned up and I started getting our dinner ready. Brent's parents were coming over to play some games, eat, and watch a sappy old Christmas movie! It was a great Christmas...at home.

The boys blew up their giant squishy ball.

And after Christmas was over we took down all the decorations in record time!

It was great to have Brent home and not have to work...
We had so much fun binge watching our newly gifted set of Harry Potter. I am NOT a lounger (as previously mentioned) but for Brent I would do anything...even sit on a couch for two days straight watching Harry Potter. We had some fun activities with the kids and some dance parties...

We found the blacklight!

Bringing in the new year was ONE of my favorite shows...giving us a teaser Christmas special.

 Looking down...

 We brought the new year in by sipping sparkling cider and reminiscing over the last 14 years...
We talked a lot about our new baby boy that will be joining us and are getting ready to bear down and embrace all of the wonderful changes that are about to hit us!