And so it begins...: Deciding on Water...

As we approached the halfway point of this pregnancy we were very anxious.

Most of this anxiety came from not really being happy with our birthing options in our little Podunk town.

My first birthing experience was great, a hospital water birth. I had a wonderful midwife and felt very supported and heard in my birthing choices. Mitchel was two weeks late and they had me in for induction, which didn't work. When I came in for my second induction I checked in and got hooked up to the monitors and they told me I was already in labor, this was at 7:30am and he was born at 12:37pm (so just around 5 hours of labor). I chalked a lot of that up to the water and being so relaxed.

My second birthing experience was not as great. As my labor onset we called to tell the hospital we were coming and they diverted us, and then we got a call and were diverted once again. We ended up at a hospital (OHSU) we had never toured or registered at, not knowing where to go and this is a big place. In addition my labor was progressing very quickly and we were a little frantic. Now call me weird, but I chose midwives every time! So imagine my distress when two males enter the room. One Dr. and his student. That delivery seemed to be a blur of panic and pain. Again, from the time my labor started at home to the time Brayden was born it had been about 2 hours.

So, with our third bundle of joy we decided we were absolutely going to have the birth we wanted. We chose to have a water birth again. We chose on having it at the birth center versus our home due to it being a rental, and for the reprieve afterwards. It was a wonderful and amazing experience again. There is something about birthing with no interventions that is very empowering. Now, it's easy for me to say this because I have precipitous labors meaning my babies are born within three hours of the onset of labor. I have no choice but to have natural births. That being said, when I was in the hospital for mine or other births I have been present for, there is a sense that you need intervention. That your body is not going to do this on its own.

Back to our current debacle, our town does not have labor and delivery at our tiny hospital. The closest hospital is about a 25min drive. We started seeing midwives at the hospital close to us, but it is one of those things where the hospital rotates them and at delivery it is whoever is on call that will be in there for delivery. I don't like this. I like to really know the person at the delivery. I feel it is an amazing and intimate thing. I feel that when I meet these people I am in a sense interviewing them to take part in this experience. Since I have had the experience with strangers versus someone we have a relationship with I know, for me, it makes a difference. So that was strike one!

Next, we toured and registered at the hospital. I asked several questions regarding birthing tubs and medication because I did not want to be "ripped" out of the tub if I started pushing, nor did I want any needles in me. I was informed that they would "assist" me out of the tub (aka pull me out) if I started pushing and I can refuse anything, but I have to do it when I get there. They generally take two blood samples, and run an IV as soon as you get there. The rooms were so cold and clinical. It just left me feeling very anxious.

I tried to put my head in a spot where I could make peace with having a baby OUT of water and in a hospital, but I was really struggling.

So, we went and toured one of the ONLY water birth clinics around which was in Bend, 45 mins away (on a good day). The clinic itself was nice, but the midwife herself did not sit well with Brent and I. She was very relaxed. A little too relaxed about the idea of us having the baby on the side of the road. She was kind of spacey and did not know the answers to a lot of our questions. So that was strike two!

Then, we interviewed the midwives here in town. It is a mother, daughter team. I loved them. They did not have a clinic so it would be an actual home birth. They were confident, informative and experienced. Right away I felt comfortable with the idea of them being our best option...but then we started talking logistics. I would have to be able to fill a birthing tub quickly, since my births can happen in an hour. We are on a well, with not the best water pressure. We would have to then boil water and fill the tub the rest of the way once we drained our hot water tank...Then we started talking about the what if's. I do tend to have slightly big babies. They said most women sign up for the life flight, because in emergencies they only recommend the Bend or Portland hospitals. I am trying to not expect that there will be any problems/complications, but it is wise to always plan for them. The idea of being helicoptered away while in labor or fetal distress made me crazy nervous too. So, reluctantly I decided the hospital birth would probably be the most responsible.

In the meantime Brent was trying to convince me to just deliver the baby at the water birth clinic that we used last time. We have enough relatives to bunk with in May, that potentially I could head over and he would join me the week surrounding the due date, and we could have "our" ideal birth. I immediately struck this down thinking it was just too much coordinating and inconvenience on our relatives.

So, at my next prenatal visit at the hospital I was wrapping my head around this being my reality. The OB doctor we saw came in like a whirlwind (as they usually do) skipping the pleasantries and going straight to the monitors. She was insistent that Brent and I consider a 39 week induction so that we can choose the date of delivery and not need to be panicked. She had previously brought this up and I had expressed that I did NOT want to be induced. She ignored me and continued to ramble statistics about there being no difference between inductions of a "ripe" cervix and someone who has precipitous labors leading to cesarean. She continued to talk about the benefits of induction. I was so frustrated about all of these mindsets and the fact that for the whole 3 minutes she saw us it was her discussing induction. This was strike three!

We made appointments with OHSU and Andaluz water birth center that week. Each of these were water birth options in Portland. OHSU couldn't get us in for over a month, so we met with the midwife who delivered August. As soon as I walked in the door I felt at ease. She, like usual, had an entire hour dedicated to us. We were able to discuss all of our options and concerns. She is so realistic and caring we knew this was best for us. I love that they are willing to meet on off hours to accommodate my prenatal care. That if I do go into labor early she will come to me (even if she won't make it). I love that they are realistic in what a labor could be and what can possibly go wrong. There is a hospital right across the street! I felt so good during that meeting I decided it is worth all the schedule shuffling and compromise to have our birth there.

OHSU offers water birth options, but they also have a huge list of reasons why you will be denied your water birth if you come in presenting any of these...one is presumed large baby.

Again, I think I am more panicked about this pregnancy than any other. The hospital focus on all the things that can go wrong for a woman "my age" giving birth. Not even joking, my age is listed on my chart as a condition to my pregnancy. They remind me, at the hospital, that my chances of stillborn go from 6 in 1000 to 12 in 1000, simply due to my age. How comforting.

Now that we have a plan I feel like I can finally breathe.

I am still a little nervous about him coming earlier than our plan, but my history shows that (aside from Mitch) my babies come 3-4 days around their due date.

So I am trying to table all of my stress about the what ifs and simply enjoy this pregnancy...since I am pretty sure it WILL be the last one...I think.

Its funny even looking at the pictures of their delivery the feelings it evokes.

I can feel the calm in the water birth deliveries, and the frantic-ness in Bray's delivery photos.