And so it begins...: Praying for Kay

As quickly as we make plans and stress over the small details in situations, we are smacked back to reality.

Just a few days after Brent's parents left our house his mother suffered another heart attack.

As if that was not stressful enough, they decided to run test. At the conclusion of the test it was decided that she needed to have open heart surgery. She required a triple bypass. Talking to her on the phone the night before she was anxious, but seemed to be focused on getting healthy so that when she moved here she would be able to play with the boys even more.

Being three hours away has been hard. Between work and being at the hospital, Brent has not been able to really fill me in on many of the details of how it actually went. As his focus is trying to figure out what to do now.

The day it was scheduled they actually took her in early. Brent said the surgery took six hours. They ended up having to use the heart and lung machine. In addition they had to cut into her leg as well. We anticipated that recovery was going to take time. However, we were not aware of a very common condition referred to as "pump-head" where individuals who used the heart and lung machine suffer cognitive malfunctions. Brent describes it now as being stuck in a loop. It will seem that she is lucid, and then she falls into looping a conversation they just had. In addition he describes her as vacant, a shell, at some points.

This is devastating and so hard to process. I am glad I get to go to Portland this weekend and can go visit. I am trying to think of a good song to sing. She enjoys my singing for some reason and I think its nice to try and stimulate some happiness.

For now I pray.

I pray constantly.

I am embracing the fact that these things unfold at His will, not mine.

Still, I just ache for Max and Brent trying to figure out all of the little things.

I scared myself researching similar situations where individuals have symptoms after 7 years. They still have memory loss, and behavior changes. I mean, if you were somewhat healthy and had this happen that is one thing, but to have compounding issues such as diabetes...ugh.

This reality check is welcomed. It reminds me to not get too comfortable here. It reminds me to cherish those around me and celebrate our time together.

For now I just hope to get some love for this lady